Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
