TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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