Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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