She announced her abortion via fbk
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize