Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
