they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
There are leaves in my underwear?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
