no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Randomize
