I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize