I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
there is puke in my bra ... again
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