We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
