Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Randomize
