hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
