I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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