better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
