Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
