He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
