Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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