whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
