Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
