Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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