Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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