I cockslap morals
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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