She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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