Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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