Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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