You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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