We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
