I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
