Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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