that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
