u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
