i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
