I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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