apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
