U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
