it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
