More tranny stories later!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
