Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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