would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize