Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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