His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize