I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude i'm inner monologue high
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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