now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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