He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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