last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
