Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize