I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I came so hard my ears popped.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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