If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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