imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
