I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
