Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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