got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
