I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize