found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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