so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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