id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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