I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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