Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
