Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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