Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
