He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
