Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
