i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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