Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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